If Allah Wills

Nasruddin was determined to be decisive and efficient. one day he told his wife he would plow his largest field on the far side of the river and be back for a big dinner. She urged him to say, "If Allah is willing."

He told her whether Allah was willing or not, that was his plan. The frightened wife looked up to Allah and asked forgiveness.

Nasruddin loaded his wooden plow, hitched up the oxen to the wagon, climbed on his donkey, and set off.

But within the short span of a day the river flooded from a cloudburst and washed his donkey downstream, and one of the oxen broke a leg in the mud, leaving Nasruddin to hitch himself in its place to plow the field.

Read More

A Dinner of Smells

Once, long ago, a very fine and expensive restaurant stood on a busy street in a bustling market town. One day, a poor man passed by this restaurant. He was tired and hungry, for he had had nothing to eat all day. His nostrils caught the smell of the delicious food being cooked inside. He stopped and sniffed, smiled sadly, and began to walk away.

But he did not get far. The owner of the restaurant came storming out into the street.

"Come here!" he bellowed. "I saw that! You took the smell of my food, and you'll have to pay for it!"

The poor man did not know what to do.

Read More

Nasruddin's Clever Wife

Mullah Nasruddin was standing outside the mosque after prayer. He had told his wife to meet him outside of the door, but after fifteen minutes she had not shown. He saw his friend Jafar coming out of the door. 

"salam alaikum, brother," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I wonder, did you happen to see my wife inside the mosque? 

"I'm sorry, I didn't, but I'm sure she'll be right out." Jafar replied, and walked upon his way. 

Mullah Nasruddin waited for fifteen minutes, but his wife did not show. He then saw his friend Nabil walk out of the door.

"Salam alaikum, brother," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I wonder, did you happen to see my wife inside the mosque?

Read More

Nasruddin And The Judge

One day, Joe Christian passed by a restaurant. He was tired and hungry, for he had had nothing to eat all day. His nostrils caught the smell of the delicious food being cooked inside. He stopped and sniffed, smiled sadly, and began to walk away. But he did not get far. The owner of the restaurant, Rabbi Moishe, came storming out into the street. "Come here!" he bellowed. "I saw that! You took the smell of my food, and you'll have to pay for it!"
Joe Christian did not know what to do. "I cannot pay!" he stammered. "I have no money!"

"No money!" shouted Rabbi Moishe. "We'll see about that! You're coming with me to the judge!" Naturally, Joe Christian was frightened.

Read More

Nasruddin's Humor Collection

Nasruddin Goes Fishing

One day, Mullah Nasruddin decided to go fishing. He called upon his good friend Rabbi Moishe, got their poles and bait together, rented a small rowboat at the local harbor, and off to sea they went. 

After an amazing afternoon of fishing, the two men had caught thirty fish. An elated Mullah Nasruddin said to Rabbi Moishel, "Better mark this spot so we can come here tomorrow!" 

The next day Mullah Nasruddin met up with Rabbi Moishe at the rental harbor for another day of fishing. 

"Did you mark the spot?" Mullah Nasruddin asked Rabbi Moishe confidentially.

Read More

Nasruddin and Three Wise Men

One day some wise men, who were going about the country trying to find answers to some of the great questions of their time, came to Mulla Nasruddin's district and asked to see the wisest man in the place. Mulla Nasruddin was brought forward, and a big crowd gathered to listen.

The first wise man began by asking, "Where is the exact center of the world?"

"It is under my right heel," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"How can you prove that?" asked the first wise man.

"If you don't believe me," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "measure and see."

The first wise man had nothing to answer to that, so the second wise man asked his question. "How many stars are there in the sky?" he said. "As many as there are hairs on my donkey," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"What proof have you got of that?" asked the second wise man.

Read More

The Faqeeh Thief

Imam ibn al Jawzi narrated with his Isnaad to Ahmad bin alMu’addil al Basri who said:

I was sitting in a gathering when a person came and said:

I was heading to the woods where I own a garden. When I got far from the community houses I was approached by a thief.

He said: Give me your clothes.

I said (trying to be defiant): Why should I give you my clothes?

He said: I am more deserving of your clothes than you.

I said: Why?

Read More