Nasruddin Goes Fishing
One day, Mullah Nasruddin decided to go fishing. He called upon his good friend Rabbi Moishe, got their poles and bait together, rented a small rowboat at the local harbor, and off to sea they went.
After an amazing afternoon of fishing, the two men had caught thirty fish. An elated Mullah Nasruddin said to Rabbi Moishel, "Better mark this spot so we can come here tomorrow!"
The next day Mullah Nasruddin met up with Rabbi Moishe at the rental harbor for another day of fishing.
"Did you mark the spot?" Mullah Nasruddin asked Rabbi Moishe confidentially.
"Of couse," replied Rabbi Moishe, "I painted a big white X on the bottom of the rowboat."
"You fool!" Shouted Mullah Nasruddin and slapped his forehead, "What if we can't rent that same boat today?!?!?"
Nasruddin's Friendly Neighbour
One day, for one some reason or another, Mullah Nasruddin goes around to Rabbi Moishe's house and asks if he can borrow a pot for a day or two. His neighbour knowing Mullah Nasruddin is reluctant, but eventually agrees as they've been close friends for many years.
The very next day, Mullah Nasruddin returns two pots and explains to the over-delighted Rabbi Moishe that the first pot gave birth to the second pot.
A week later, Mullah Nasruddin asks Rabbi Moishe if he can borrow two pots. Rabbi Moishe immediately agrees - for the obvious reason.
But to Rabbi Moishe's dismay, Mullah Nasruddin never returns the pots, so he asks Mullah Nasruddin if he can have his pots back, but the Mullah Nasruddin explains that tragically both pots have died.
Rabbi Moishe is incensed. "How can a pot die?" he demands.
"You believed it when a pot gave birth," said Mullah Nasruddin. "Why should you not believe that a pot dies?"
Nasruddin and His Donkey
Rabbi Moishe, in need of a donkey, went around to Mullah Nasruddin's farm to ask him if he could borrow his donkey for a day or two.
Mullah Nasruddin came up with the excuse that someone had already borrowed his donkey.
Just as Mullah Nasruddin uttered these words, his donkey started braying in his backyard. Hearing the sound, Rabbi Moishe gave him an accusing look, to which Mullah Nasruddin replied: "I refuse to have any further dealings with you since you take a donkey's word over mine."
Nasruddin's Car Drive
Mullah Nasruddin and his wife are in their car driving.
Suddenly his wife screams, "STOP THE CAR!!!"
"What is it?" Mullah Nasruddin asks.
"Turn around and go back home!! I forgot to turn off the oven!! The house will burn down!!!"
Mullah Nasruddin kept on driving.
"Why aren't you turning around?"
"The house won't burn down..." Mullah Nasruddin replied. "...I forgot to turn off the shower."
Nasruddin's Vision
Mullah Nasruddin and Rabbi Moishe were traveling through the desert. It was so hot that the air was shimmering. In the distance they saw something black on the ground. Rabbi Moishe said, "It's a vulture." Mullah Nasruddin said, "No, it's a goat." They drew closer, still arguing over what it was. Rabbi Moishe threw a rock at it. It flapped its wings and lifted into the air. "See!" said Rabbi Moishe. "I told you it was a vulture."
"That doesn't prove anything," Mullah Nasruddin. "It could be a goat with wings."
The Train Journey
Rabbi Moishe, Mullah Nasruddin and a Nun were sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Jerusalem.
Suddenly the train went through a tunnel. As it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap.
When the train came out of the tunnel, the Nun and Rabbi Moishe were sitting as if nothing had happened, and Mullah Nasruddin had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there.
Mullah Nasruddin was thinking: 'Rabbi Moishe, must have kissed the Nun and she missed him and slapped me instead.'
The Nun was thinking: 'Mullah Nasruddin must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed Rabbi Moishe and got a slap for it.
Rabbi Moishe was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise and slap Mullah Nasruddin again.
A lesson taught
Nasruddin went to a public bath. The servant didn?t pay any attention and didn?t serve him when Nasruddin was leaving the bath, he gave ten Dinars to the servants.The attendants were surprised and happy. Next week when he again went to the bath all the services were provided to him. Every one was having a sense of inferiority. But Nasruddin on leaving the place gave only one Dinar to them. The servants and the owner were very much bewildered and asked, "What is the reason for the uncalled bonus of last week and improper behavior this week?" Nasruddin replied, "I paid today?s wage last week and last week?s wage today so that you learn to behave politely with your customers!"
Rescuing the moon
Nasruddin was looking at the image of the moon in a well. He thought it was a recompense to take out the moon from the well. Therefore, he threw a rope inside the well and swung it a few times. Incidentally, the tip of the rope got caught to a big stone. He tried to take the rope out. Hence he pulled it with a lot of force. The rope tore off and he fell on his hack to the ground. When he looked at the sky, he saw the moon and said, "Doesn?t matter. My efforts were not wasted. Though I faced a lot of difficulties, I finally succeeded to rescue the moon."
Lack of Time
Once a person slapped Nasruddin in the street. Later he came back and started to apologize and said that he had mistaken Nasruddin for some one else. But Nasruddin was not satisfied and took tight hold of his collar, took him to the judge and told the judge about the incident. The judge ordered, "Nasruddin must slap that person to avenge. But Nasruddin didn?t get satisfied. Thus the judge ordered the person to give Nasruddin a gold coin in lieu of the slap. The accused had to go out of the court to bring the gold coin. Nasruddin waited for sometime. The accused didn?t come back. Nasruddin stood up and slapped the judge on his face and said, "Since I have a lot of work, whenever that person Comes and brings the coin, You take the money for this slap."
Mullah Nasrudin and the The Burglar
A thief went to Nasrudin's house and carried away almost all the possessions of the mullah to his own home. While Nasrudin had been watching from the street. After a few minutes Nasrudin took up a blanket, followed him, went in to his house, lay down and pretended to go to sleep. The thief asked Mullah, "who are you? And what are you doing in my house?" Mullah replied, "we were moving into your house, weren't we?"
Real Evidence
A neighbour called on Nasrudin. "Mulla, I want to borrow your donkey." "I am sorry," said the Mullah, "but I have already lent it out." As soon as he had spoken, the donkey brayed. The sound came from Nasruding?s stable. "But Mulla, I can hear the donkey, in here!" As he shut the door in the man?s face, Nasrudin said, with dignity: "A man who believes the word of a donkey in preference to my word does not deserve to be lent anything."
The rickshaw ride
Once a missonary on his way to run some errand hired a rickshaw. The rickshaw-puller happened to be a muslim. The christian preacher began to preach the Gospel to the R.P. The rickshaw puller got annoyed and asked the preacher "How many sons did God have?" The missionary answered "One". At this the rickshaw puller got more annoyed and said "I am a thirty year old poor rickshaw puller, I have twelve children. If your God is really as great as you claim him to be, then how come he has only one son?"
0 comments:
Post a Comment